Babes in LitLand

The challenge for Week 5 of Word World development: Create a kiddie attraction for Literature Land.

Here's where I need the major caveats. Kids aren't really my bag. I spent my childhood yearning for middle age. All I really know about children is...that's what people are before they become grown-ups. Yeah, that's it, they're like caterpillar humans, except that they don't spend adolescence in solitary confinement (pity, that). So, anyway, this won't be my best work.

Wonderland and Treasure Island are twin rides based on the works of Carroll and Stevenson, respectively. Since I'm told that boys and girls like different stuff sometimes, the selections represents a slight gender bias in each direction; however, the the development committee hopes that the distinctions are subtle enough that most kids will be more or less equally satisfied with both, the goal being to avoid ever being the subject of a socio-political editorial commentary in the A&E section of the New York Times.

In Wonderland, young Harriet and Humphrey, Jr. ride in suit-pip and chess piece-emblazoned cars with irregularly-shaped wheels for a journey through a Technicolor landscape of white rabbits, caterpillars, croquet and tea parties. Insert Victorian psychedelia here.

Treasure Island, of course, is a water ride. Greeted by Billy Bones himself, Harriet and Humphrey, Jr. board the mini-Hispaniola for a ride around the island and a tale of adventure, mutiny, treasure, and deficient personal hygiene.

Success of these attractions will consist in bearing little enough resemblance to existing works of the Walt Disney Company to maintain intellectual dignity and avoid lawsuits, while skirting close enough to hold onto the loyalty of the little urchins and their parents' dollars.